Two-Pop Bob

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

Huck Tales


Two-Pop Bob

One of our fellow Hucks, whom we shall call Howie, plays in a few member-guests tournaments at various locations throughout the year. In a recent event, Howie played with a friend in Atlanta. According to Howie, “it’s a good thing he’s a friend because I wouldn’t play golf with him otherwise.” He is a terrible golfer with about a thirty-six handicap. He gets two shots a hole; we will call him Two-Pop Bob.

The first round of the tournament seemed to breach the boundaries of eternity. Golf-ball hunts and questionable rulings abounded. Howie, a golf purist, was not happy. Two-Pop Bob was hitting more than one ball off of almost every tee, and on some tees he was having to hit three or four just to get one in play.

On the seventeenth hole, Two-Pop Bob hit his first ball out of bounds to the right, his second ball out of bounds to the left, and his third ball somewhere into the unknown. Howie saw the fourth ball land, but Two-Pop Bob was not convinced the ball could be found. So, Bob prepared to hit a fifth tee shot, at which point Howie, exhausted and frustrated, said, “Stop Bob! Stop! Do not hit another ball! I saw your last ball land; we can find it. Get in the cart, and let’s go!”

Howie drove Two-Pop Bob down to the ball, pointed at it, and sternly told Bob, “that’s your ball. Hit it!” Bob got out of the cart, walked over to the ball, bent down, took a good look at it, and said, “That’s not my ball.” Howie responded, “that is your ball. I saw it land right here. Hit your ball!” Bob looked again and said, “That’s not my ball; that’s your ball.” Howie, increasingly agitated and pointing to his ball further down the way, said, “Bob, my ball is up there. This is your ball. I saw you hit it, and I saw it land right here.” Two-Pop Bob replied, “Nope, this is your ball. I ran out of my balls four holes ago. I’ve been playing out of your bag since thirteen. This is your ball alright.”

Howie was speechless.

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

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