The Big Sexy

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

Huck Tales


The Big Sexy

The Big Sexy, as he is known, is a good player, ranging consistently between a three and five handicap. His skill would not be all that remarkable except for the fact that he plays with a prosthetic leg. In his youth, he was shot in a hunting accident, and his leg had to be amputated up to the thigh. Unless someone was already aware of the injury, though, he/she might simply notice a limp, not an artificial leg.

Like all of the Hucks, the Big Sexy has been the victim of several pranks. On one golf trip, a guy whom we will call Yance, put Big Sexy’s artificial leg in the freezer so that when Big Sexy attached the leg on the following morn, his lower extremities became a little chilly.

One day, while playing at Killearn, a neighboring course in Tallahassee, the Big Sexy was playing with Doc and two other guys who did not know him well. Doc was driving, and Big Sexy was his passenger. The other two guys, whom we shall call Jim and Ken, had their own cart. Ken and Jim were in the lead heading down the slightly sloped thirteenth fairway. Big Sexy was leaning downward and to the right, avoiding the dust flying up from the cart path. Doc, also trying to avoid the dust, swerved to the left. Big Sexy was dislodged from his seat. At some point during the rolling, Big Sexy’s prosthetic leg flew off and began tumbling down the slope after him. Ken and Jim, who had stopped by now, began screeching in shock and horror, “Oh my God, his leg’s come off! Jesus Christ, he’s going to die.” Big Sexy, not one to waste an opportunity for humorous deception, began to scream in pain, grab at his nub, and crawl toward his severed appendage. Ken and Jim, due to their apprehension, became as white as fresh golf balls. Pleased with himself, Big Sexy put on his leg, got up, and walked back to the cart.

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

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