Prematurely “Tatered”

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

Huck Tales

Prematurely “Tatered”

Some time ago, when my wife, Jennifer, was coming home from the beach, she transferred the remains of a glass bottle of vodka to a plastic water bottle. She did not want to run the risk of breaking the glass bottle of vodka in transport. When she arrived home, she put it in the kitchen refrigerator and forgot all about it.

A couple of weeks ago, Jennifer and I bought a new refrigerator for the kitchen. We transferred all the contents from the old refrigerator to the garage refrigerator, where we ordinarily keep various beverages including bottles of water. When the new refrigerator arrived, we transferred everything, except for the beverage containers, to the new refrigerator.

Sunday morning, I headed out to the golf range for my usual two or three hour practice session. I grabbed three bottles of water and put them in my cute, little, golf-bag, cooler along with an ice pack.

It was a hot day, and after about an hour of practice, I had become quite thirsty. I reached into the cooler, pulled out a bottle, unscrewed the top, turned the bottle up, and gulped down at least a third of the bottle. Sometime around the third or fourth gulp, I realized that something was not right. I put the bottle down and began pondering, “What the hell is that?” It tasted like vodka, but I needed to be sure. I called Jennifer, and she remembered what she had done. Fortunately, she had not put anything hazardous in the water bottle.

I thanked Jennifer for making me “take drunk” at 10:30 a.m. on Sunday morning and tried to resume hitting balls. Ricky Bobby drove up on the range as I was finishing my call with Jennifer. He got a good laugh watching me hit balls in my “tatered up” condition. We do not play until 11:50, and I was almost sober by then. I was a little discombobulated for the first three holes, but that was nothing new. I play golf in a discombobulated manner anyway.

 

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan June 16, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Oh my, you poor thing!!!!! Tooooo funny.

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Roy M. Barineau, Ph. D. June 16, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Thanks Susan. I would have noticed a visual difference if it had been my Crown Royal, but Vodka is too clear.

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Dan B June 17, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Good thing you practiced first.

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Roy M. Barineau, Ph. D. June 18, 2011 at 12:14 am

Thanks Dan. As poorly as I’m playing right now, I could have done just as well, if not better, all “tatered up.”

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