On Knocking the Little Man Out of the Canoe

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

Huck Tales

On Knocking the Little Man Out of the Canoe

A Huck known as J.K. has hit some interesting golf shots over the years. The tenth hole at Golden Eagle Golf and Country Club is a short par four with a watery finger of Lake Blue Heron about forty yards in front the tee box. It is a slender finger of water, only about twenty or twenty-five yards wide, and it should never come into play for someone of J.K.’s abilities. He is generally close to a four handicap. Nevertheless, we have witnessed J.K. hit his tee ball into that watery finger on several occasions, often enough to rename the lake after him. Among the Hucks, the lake is now known as Lake Johnny.

J.K.’s balls find a way to make into that lake even when he is not playing.  Not too long ago, Fuji reached the tenth tee and pulled out a new purple dotted ball.  It was one of J.K’s provisional balls that Fuji just happend to have picked up one day.  Fuji hit his tee shot over the lake and to the right. The ball hit a tree and then ricocheted back into the lake. Fuji should have known better.  No one cannot keep J.K.’s balls out of that lake!

Surprisingly, other Hucks have, at various times, hit into Lake Johnny from the tenth tee. This has happened often enough that we have given subtitles to the watery finger. The finger has been known as Sinclair’s Sough, Russell’s Rivery Ravine, Hollar’s Watery Hollow, Wayne’s Fountain, Loch McQuary, and, an apparent favorite, Lagoon de Limcangco.

The other day, playing with Doc, Fuji, and Jeffrow, J.K. arrived at the eighteenth hole, a somewhat short par five with Lake Diane running all the way down the right side. The hole takes a slight dogleg right about the spot where players find themselves attempting the reach the green in two shots.

Lake Diane functions as a fishing pond for various residents of the area, and on this day a couple of boys were out in a canoe fishing not far off the shore from the eighteenth hole. My group had already come through, and Peedrow had almost taken out the boys in the canoe with a low, line drive that went over the boat and landed about ten yards further up into the water.

After hitting a shot to the middle of the eighteenth fairway, J.K. found himself with 232 yards to the eighteenth green. He selected his seventeen-degree hybrid, got set, rocked, and sent his ball quail high and wide right. The ball grazed the side of one of the boys in the canoe. It caught the boy’s shirt and clanked into the canoe. The surprised boy picked up the ball and threw it into the fairway. The group inquired as to whether the boy was hurt, and he indicated that he was fine.

Due to a side bet, there was a festive discussion on the rules of golf. J.K. did the right thing. He dropped from where his ball entered the hazard and hit onto the green from there, scoring a six. We are referring to his score as a “canoe bogey.”

The father of the boy called Jeffrow the next day and complained about the Hucks trying to hit his son in the canoe, as though we had done this on purpose.  Instead of questioning our intent, perhaps the father should have scolded his son for fishing in the line of fire on a golf course.

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf