Hucks’ Man Law

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

Huck Tales

Hucks’ Man Law:

Rules for Discussing One’s Round[1]

Round: 69 and below
Title: Jeffrowesque
Parameters: This was an outstanding round of golf.  Don’t mess it up.  You may only answer questions and say, “thanks.”
   
Round: 70 to 71
Title: Great
Parameters: A great round of golf.  Nobody wants to hear how it could have been better.  Collect your money, and let everyone call you a “sandbagger.”
   
Round: 72 to 75
Title: Good
Parameters: This was a solid round of golf.  Be humble and enjoy your success quietly.
   
Round: 76 to 79
Title: Average
Parameters: This is a round with some untapped potential.  You may discuss either the front or back nine.  Choose wisely.
   
Round: 80 to 85
Title: Poor
Parameters: This is a poor round and, as such, carries with it the most entertainment value.  You have a ticket to discuss the full eighteen holes of golf, but please allow everyone to get a drink before you begin.
 
Round: 86 to 89
Title: Bad
Parameters: There is no way we have enough time to hear all about this round; and we don’t give a damn about most of it.  However, the round is soooo… awful that volatile eruptions, physical damage, or risk of life must have been involved, and these could have entertainment value.  Limit your discussion to the violence, destruction, and bloodshed.
 
Round: 90 and above
Title: Terrible
Parameters: We don’t even understand why you play the game, and we certainly don’t want to hear about your round.  Grab a tall, wide glass of “shut the hell up.”  Make it a double![2]

[1] I owe a lot of this to Burger, the President of the Hucks.
[2] Lately, if you shot 90 or above, there is a good chance you played with the Jam Brothers. If so, as a consolation for your pain and suffering, feel free to tell us about your round.

Roybob’s Book on Golf: The Hucks, A Golfer’s Divine Comedy, and a Religious Philosophy of Golf

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Curt Grice April 21, 2011 at 11:22 am

Once again, this Roybob’s installment was succinct, well-organized, entertaining and extremely informative. It provides a compelling snapshot into that area of the clubhouse where most mortals will fail to tread. Thanks for divulging these fraternal secrets to the masses.

Reply

Reverend Roybob April 21, 2011 at 11:29 am

Thanks Curt. We all must know how to comport ourselves on the back porch after the round.

Reply

Leave a Comment