Dick Crouser, Funny (but true) Golf Anecdotes, Meadowbrook Press, New York, 2012.
The title describes the book. Crouser presents eighty-three pages worth of short golf stories relating to many of golf’s famous names. Some anecdotes are more humorous than others, but there were enough funny ones for me to me to award the book a full sleeve of balls. I included some “shorties” in my own book, and here are a few of my favorite “shorties” from Crouser’s book.
Donna Caponi was playing with a sportswriter in an alternate-shot match. She would “hit a booming tee shot”; the sportswriter would scuff the next shot into the woods. She would “hit out of the woods onto the green”; he would putt “off the green into the water.” After several holes of similar frustrations, “she hit a big drive that stopped just in front of a water hazard. ‘What should I do here?’ he asked. ‘Whiff it,’ she said.”
“A Tough Golf Course
Robert Trent Jones was never the pro golfer’s favorite architect, because many felt that Jones had something against a golfer being able to shoot par. Jimmy Demaret, one of Jones’s severest critics, ran into him once and said, ‘Saw a course you’d really like the other day, Trent. On the first tee, you take a penalty drop.”
“Faldo’s Pricey Present
Nick Faldo had just won the biggest purse of his life – a cool $1 million – and was feeling generous when he asked his wife if there were anything she’d like to have. ‘A divorce,’ she said. ‘I wasn’t thinking of anything quite that expressive,’ Faldo replied.”
“How Slow is Sakura Yokomine?
LPGA star Christina Kim has never been known for keeping her opinions to herself. After learning she wouldn’t have to play behind Japanese player Sakura Yokomine during the final round of the U.S. Women’s Open, Kim said, ‘Phew. I’m glad… She’s slower than trying to bake a pie with a lighter.’”
“Maltbie’s Last-Round Comeback
The thrill and drama of the last-round comeback has made tournament golf a huge spectator draw. Palmer, Ncklaus, Woods, love, Faldo – they’ve all done it. Roger Maltbie has, too, although he didn’t seem to possess the supreme confidence golf miracles normally require. Ten strokes back entering the last round of an Andy Williams tourney, he was asked what he’d have to shoot to win. ‘The rest of the field,’ he said.”
The curse of the public golf course is slow play – the six-hour round. But even a few pros suffer from slow-play disease. Like Bernhard Langer, according to some. He and Lee Trevino were paired for a round in 1992, and as Trevino was coming off the 18th green, he was asked to comment on Langer’s new beard: ‘He was clean-shaven when we teed off.’”
If you are looking for a few laughs related to the game of golf, I recommend Funny (but true) Golf Anecdotes: about Tiger, Phil, Bubba, Rory, Rickie, Jack, Arnie, and all the rest.